Points to Ponder Concerning the 50 Shades Buzz

Even before I became a reviewer of books and films, I operated under a general, albeit unofficial policy that I would refuse the temptation to condemn a book I had not read (or a film I had not seen) based on what I had heard about it from the media or others*. As you read, please remember that. 
*Sadly, the term 'others', as referred to above, most often means Christians, the church, and those who have been placed--or have placed themselves--in the spotlight as a mouthpiece for the Christian community as a whole--but that is a topic for another day.

I have not, nor do I plan to read the Fifty Shades of Grey book series; neither do I intend to see the film. Therefore, I will not comment directly about either, because I do not consider myself qualified to do so. 

However, as a media professional, I do feel qualified to comment on the buzz surrounding these books and the film based upon them.

Before I began working in the romance fiction industry, I was not even aware the BDSM subgenre of romance fiction existed. It wasn't until I came across the term "BDSM" as central to a book review that I Googled the definition and . . . my jaw dropped. "Okee-dokey, then," I thought, shocked. "So... that's a thing. A real thing? And there are people really into it? Empowered by it? Turned on by it? Living it?" 

Yep. 
Well, color me innocent. And surprised. And . . . sad.

Although Fifty Shades of Grey might be the bestselling book of this subgenre, it is far from alone. Still, those who criticize the series based on perceived content seem to believe it shockingly unique. It is not. (I say 'perceived' because, let's face it: most of this book's negative critics have NOT read it.) Author E.L. James is hardly a trail-blazer. BDSM fiction existed well before Fifty Shades of Grey and more titles are releasing every day. For every person who purchases one of James's Grey books electronically, a slew of like titles by other authors will be set before their eyes, tempting them to purchase . . .

. . . while critics snarl and hiss and judge, using only that one as reference.

It makes me wonder . . . do they not know there is a whole world of that stuff out there? 

Why I don't read Erotica or BDSM books
I accepted Christ when I was eleven years old, but there were times in my younger adult years when I was not bothered by graphic sex scenes in novels. Several years ago, however, I decided those scenes were not something I needed in my life and I made a faith-based choice to skip through the pages of those I came across accidentally in my reading; moreover, I now choose to avoid reading books I know will lead toward graphic sex scenes. 

My definition of 'graphic' may not be the same as yours. And my idea of what constitutes a 'graphic sex scene' does not necessarily place a book in the category of 'Erotica' in the official categories of Romance Fiction, as I have come to discover. BDSM fiction is, technically, a subgenre of the subgenre of Erotica, which falls under the larger genre umbrella of Romance Fiction. Erotica, by definition, is literature or entertainment created with the intent of inducing sexual arousal. Since I do not read for that reason (I am quite happy to leave the inducement of that state to my husband, thank you very much), I do not read erotica. 

I consider erotic content in fiction (that written with the intent of inducing sexual arousal) akin to that destructive beast, Pornography--a thing that worms its way into an imagination only to become an obsessive habit, intent upon soiling the sexual expression of or appreciation for true, relational love. Therefore, I find the concept of BDSM behavior, whether in fictional form or as a lifestyle choice, a grievously sad comment on the status of modern romantic expression and psychological health. 

How our hearts ache when we learn someone we love is a 'cutter', someone who purposefully damages herself (or himself), using self-mutilation as a means of coping with stress or depression, or as a way to deal with past abuse or other psychological trauma. When an individual seeks a form of violence to give himself or herself a sense of control, it evidences deeply unmet spiritual, emotional, and psychological needs--and perhaps reveals that this person has suffered other forms of past abuse, which still inform his or her self-image. To me, BDSM, by definition, regardless of which combination of words used to form that acronym, is cutting's more glamorous cousin. 

We were not created to derive pleasure from the receiving or administration of pain--not even second hand through the fictional depiction of those sorts of sexual/physical encounters. We were created to form meaningful relationships, to emulate hope and love that, when met in marriage, can express itself beautifully through the safe, secure, and fearless joining of our bodies as one.  It breaks my heart that there are people so broken, so damaged, that they would be willing to be hurt--or to inflict hurt upon someone else--to escape numbness, to feel worthy, loved, or even alive. The concept of BDSM directly conflicts with my definition of what healthy, fearless, safe, loving, and partner-honoring sexuality is. That is why I do not read BDSM books.

And yet...
That being said, the growing popularity of this subgenre should serve as a wake-up call for mental health professionals and spiritual leaders; a call to provide a safe environment, free of judgment, where those who have fallen victim to the BDSM lure--either by choice or as a result of ongoing abuse--can find hope and healing (even if the only lure to which they have succumbed is that taking up space in their mind.) It should also encourage us to be honest with our teens and young adults who have access to these forms of entertainment. 

How we are entertained can color our perception of true expressions of love and desire (vs. what is abuse) in future relationships. Imagine, if you will, a generation of boys and girls who go into adulthood and marriage believing that instigating or submitting to psychological and sexual abuse is just another night in the bedroom. 

A Warning Concering the Negative Impact of Anti-50 Shades Proselytizing
What are the implications of BDSM entertainment's popularity... if handled with only judgment and censure by its opposition? The obvious answer is: curiosity and rebellion. Think on that.

If the prevalent opposing message the public receives is, "It's bad! And if you like it, so are you, Perv!" all we do is promote shame at the expense of truth, inflicting new wounds upon the likely already-existing ones a more compassionate approach might soothe.

Heaping shame on those who have read books glamorizing BDSM--and/or those who will watch movies based upon them--is not speaking the truth in love. (see Ephesians 4:14-16)


Positive Things About the 50 Shades Buzz 

• Even though the Fifty Shades of Grey promotional blitz is slapping you upside the face every time you turn on your TV, not all the buzz is pro-Fifty Shades or pro-BDSM. (Obviously.) Perhaps you've seen #50ShadesIsAbuse on Twitter or other social media networks. Have you noticed the diverse mix of people tweeting, blogging, and otherwise posting that hashtag? I have seen it quite a bit this week, as well as many other hashtags promoting a similar message. Because I have not read the books to justify that comment as fact, I have not personally participated in the movement--to do so would violate my personal policy (see the first paragraph); but that such a hashtag exists and is being promoted by people of such historically ideologically diverse platforms, leads me to my next point:

• For the first time in my recollection--perhaps in the history of the WORLD--many feminists and Christians are on the same page: BDSM entertainment glorifies abuse. (The message might be portrayed a little differently depending on who is touting it, but at its heart, it is the same.) Although the general focus of social media hashtags and whatnot is on this one book/movie, it cannot be denied that these two, oft-head-butting factions are, in fact, mingling toward the same cause. (Those of us who consider ourselves 'Christian Feminists' are nodding our heads, thinking 'finally!') 

• But that brings up another point to ponder: women are not the only victims of BDSM-driven abuse. Whether by choice or not, men, too, suffer physical, sexual, and psychological abuse when the person with whom they are involved derives pleasure from the giving or receiving of pain. 

• We have been given an opportunity and a stage on which we can speak the truth in love, encourage intelligent discussion, and raise awareness of how to help people trapped in an abusive relationship, lifestyle, or pattern of thinking.

• Kindness, compassion, and love--real, Christ-like love--are the only proactive expressions that will ultimately succeed in helping people overcome an obsession with or addiction to destructive behaviors.

• Regardless of the labels some loud naysayers may wish to assign, the fact that someone has read erotica or plans to see the Fifty Shades of Grey movie does not make them a pervert; it only proves them to be a consumer of pop culture.

If you are surprised I would write something like this, well... so am I. At least a little bit. I generally prefer to tell stories, to avoid controversy, and to hang out in my writing cave, playing with my imaginary friends. But because I have been personally victimized in the past by people within the church who have judged me and my faith by the sorts of books I read and promote (again, another post for another day), books they would never even CONSIDER reading because another Christian (who also likely did not read them) pronounced them 'evil' -- I felt called to share my heart on this subject. 

I leave you with this advice... a tiny, and yet rather immense gem of wisdom I came across this past week in, of all things, a romance novel:

"Love well."
(from To Catch a Prince by Rachel Hauck -- available February 24, 2015)

GIVEAWAYS GALORE! #32AuthorHunt

I know. My blogging at this location is sporadic at best. But just in case anyone out there in internet land actually reads this blog, I absolutely HAD to let you know about a promotion I'm involved with going into the holiday season. It's called the 32 Author Hunt. It was put together by author Brock Eastman as a blog scavenger hunt with an amazing cache of prizes, including 32 books and an i-pad mini! Check out this bookshelf for some of the books you could win:

Visit THIS PAGE for more info
Visit HERE when you've found all the clues
or if you need an easy-to-click list of links with which to do so!
Oh, and do take a peek at that newly-redesigned cover of THE RYN in the top row, center
(I know, the changes are subtle, but they're there!)

Make sure you also visit the 2 stops on the hunt in which I'm directly involved!
You can find my character interview with Captain Cazien de Pollis (a rather clever pirate you might remember from his minor role in The Ryn and The Remedy.) by clicking this link to Rachel Starr Thomson's blog. Now that Rynnaia's tale has been told, Cazien is still being chatty; therefore, I had to interview him... especially since this particular swashbuckler will be stealing the spotlight with the first of his own 2-book set in the Eyes of E'veria series in June 2014.

At my other blogging home, Edgy Inspirational Romance, you will find a feature interview with fantasy author Jenelle Schmidt AND a bonus giveaway of (wait for iiiiittt....)
an autographed copy of the soon-to-be-released PAPERBACK version of THE RYN (Eyes of E'veria, book 1)
and a spray lotion and perfume roll-on of RYNNAIA, a scent I created with MiA Bath & Body products.
Most of the authors on the hunt are doing this bonus giveaways, so make sure you visit them all!

The hunt goes through December 6, 2014. What are you waiting for?
Begin at Stop#1 by clicking on this link to Brock Eastman's blog

 Good luck!

Renewal

This past weekend I took my two daughters on a quick and spontaneous trip that just happened to include a short stop-off at a beach. Since we live in Iowa, "real" beaches (the kind where the sand comes from God instead of a truck) are a bit difficult to come by around here--especially the sort of beaches where you can't see the other side. But I hunger for that exact sort of beach.

All of the time.

I'm a fan of warm southern breezes, palm trees, and white sand meeting up with the jade green clearness of the Gulf of Mexico. Unfortunately, it takes about 20 hours to get to Florida's panhandle and at least a few hours more to reach some of my favorite spots: Clearwater Beach, Sanibel Island, and Naples. Unfortunately, when the idea struck to get the heck outta Dodge on Friday afternoon, it came with the dratted realization that "the new school year" was scheduled to commence on Monday. And since my bank account couldn't support two tickets to paradise, let alone the three we would actually need, Florida wasn't in the cards for our girls' getaway this weekend. 

So we went to Wisconsin, instead.

Now normally, I don't think most people think of "beach" when they think of Wisconsin. They think of dairy cows, dairy products, guys wearing cheese hats at football games, and rolling green hills dotted with (you guessed it) dairy cows. With the fame of Chicago and the very name of the state of Michigan being shared by that big ol' lake, we often tend to forget that Wisconsin, too, borders Lake Michigan. And when you've got a lake big enough that you can't see the other side, there's bound to be a beach worth visiting.

Right?

Sure. In . . .Michigan. But Wisconsin? Really?

Really.

I've been to the "other side" of Lake Michigan. A couple of summers ago our little family took a long weekend in the lovely little town of South Haven, which boasts two beautiful beaches and is within easy driving distance of many more. Although we all love our visits to the ocean, I have to say: Lake Michigan can be a pretty sweet substitution for us budget-conscious Midwesterners. When you look across the big expanse of blue lake, it may not have the salty spray, but it "feels" like you're at the ocean.

I don't remember thinking about Chicago or Wisconsin when I was on a beach in Michigan, just like I didn't think about South Haven, Michigan as I sat on the Kenosha, Wisconsin sand last Saturday morning. All I thought of was . . . peace. And wholeness. And the strange sort of "rightness" that settles over me whenever I sit near an ocean (or a reasonable facsimile.)

There's something about a big body of water and a sandy shore that helps me find my center. The vastness, the depth, the power of the waves and tides all work together to work a mysterious peace through my soul. Every time I visit a beach--a real beach, not the trucked-in kind--I'm reminded that I need more than what is seen. In the chaos of everyday life, I need that break from the land to know that it's okay to not be able to see the other side. That there is beauty in the mystery. That I don't have all the answers and that I don't have to have all the answers. I simply need to breathe, to listen to the waves breaking and slapping against the sand, and to feel the warmth of the sun on my face while the coolness of the morning still lingers in the sand.

It's only a five or so hour drive away, this beach we discovered. As drives go, it's not terribly long, but neither is it what I would call an easy drive. There's no direct route between my Iowa home and Kenosha, Wisconsin. There are confusing offshoots of interstates I don't normally travel, every excuse for road construction known to man, and every ten minutes or so, a toll booth that will make you a pauper in its quest to pull the state of Illinois out of its monstrous debt . . . at least in the transportation department. Honestly, it's a crappy drive to get to and from Kenosha's sweet beach. But then again . . .

Why should I expect a path toward peace in my soul to be an easy road? 

As a fantasy reader and author, as well as someone who studied at least the required bits of history necessary to achieve a Bachelor's degree in the United States of America, I know that peace is generally only noticed before or after a war. A season of unrest passes, and renewal--that deep, thirst-quenching hope, wells up within.

For me, the renewal of my spirit often comes 

by way of a beach. 

There is beauty in the mystery of not being able to see the other side. And in that beauty, there is hope.

GLASS CEILINGS: Highlights, Underlines, & Notes #2

Want to know more about this post series? Click HERE for the intro

Bracketed in red pen in my trusty old NIV:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. -Genesis 1:27

The handwritten note in the margin says: 

"identically & equally valuable in God's sight."

And I'm caused to wonder:

At what point did the early readers of this book begin to dissect that phrase and to separate, to denigrate, the place of women in the heart of God?

Here were are, so early in the scriptures--we're in CHAPTER ONE of GENESIS, for crying out loud!--and somehow, someway, women became almost immediately "less than" their male counterparts, according to history. But if this line is read contextually, not so.

The way I read this verse, the fourth word in, "man" is to be read as "mankind" or "humankind." That is not some feminist wish-it-were-so, that is contextual reading, based upon what seems to be God, making a point to clarify (after the semicolon) that "them" is meant to parallel that too-oft-misinterpreted-throughout-history-word "man" at the beginning of the verse. 

As a writer, I tend to play out thoughts like this as a scene. Here's what I see in my imagination when I read this verse. (You may picture something different, that's cool. But go with me for a sec.) I picture God, dictating the creation story to Moses. He's jazzed.  It's taking a while because, you know, Moses is a rather stubborn guy and carving words into stone? Time-consuming. But even though God is really excited to share how he brought earth and light and life out of nothing with the guy he especially picked to be his scribe, he's patient. It's just how he is. I picture him saying something like this:

God: "So I created man in my own image." 

*pause for carving* 

and then *pause for Moses to realize that means HE also is created in God's image*

Moses: Me too? In your... whoa.

God: *nods* "That's right. In the image of Me, I created them." 

Moses: *tilts head* "Them?" 

God: "Yes, them. Male and female, I created them. Write that down. It's important."

I wonder how many times since that originally carving, a female reader of scripture has come across those lines and paused, blinked, and wondered if everything she had been taught (out of context) pertaining to her feminine identity was wrong. Perhaps she had grown up in a legalistic, chauvinistic, or even barbaric home or culture. Perhaps her early introductions to Genesis had focused on how, as a woman, she was little more than a standard bearer of original sin and a vessel for producing a quiver full of sons. I wonder if, upon reading that phrase, her eyes simply skimmed over it, seeing herself not as the "them-as-connected-to-man", but as... an afterthought. 

Or did she pause to reflect about the eternal nature of God? An eternal nature that precludes the need for afterthought. 

How many times did my eyes skip over this bit of creation until I realized that it applied to me in a personal way?

I don't know. I don't remember when I drew that red bracket or made that note in the margin of my trusty NIV, only that I believe it to be true.

Surely I'm not the only one who has paused upon this verse. I have to wonder if, every time that verse causes a reader to pause, God heaves a mini sigh, shakes his head the tiniest bit, and then smiles and whispers across the reader's heart, "Yes, I mean both of you. I created both of you in my image." 

Male and female. Created in the image of God.

But... huh? How's that again? That's messed up . . . isn't it?

Not really. Because I really don't think God is nearly as hung up on physicality as we are. I think his "image" goes way deeper than our rudimentary and shallow definition of the word.

I believe it was author, poet, and storyteller Steven James who opened my eyes to the prismatic depth of this concept of being created in the "image" of God and how it relates not only to our physical appearance, but to our abilities, our creativity, our need for beauty and art and truth and so much more than we appearance-obsessed Americans allow ourselves to grasp. (side note: if you haven't read any nonfiction by Steven James, I suggest you start with his very beautifully written Sailing Between the Stars, one of my all-time favorite nonfiction titles. But really, everything of his I've read is gold, so... grab what you can and dive in!) When I look at that idea of "image" and hold it up to my version of the definition, mine is so lacking that it seems almost insignificant. 

In the big scheme of eternity, does it really matter what God looks like? Hardly. I'd wager that even when we get to heaven we won't be able to look him square in the eye--at least not for a long time! I mean, hello-oo, Glory! Before you send me angry emails, let me be clear: I'm not saying that God does not look like us physically (well, vice versa. You know what I mean.), he very well might. But it's not his physical appearance that makes this verse of scripture really sing in my heart. What matters is what of his image he has injected into us. 

And that he's put it into all whom he created in his image, regardless of societal or culturally mandated gender roles.

Male and female he created them.

You, me, him,her, us.

Outward appearance, bah. We were identically and equally created in the image of God. An image that goes deeper than skin. 

Random as always, but jumping back in.

Summer is a difficult time for me to dig in to creating new material. It's an excellent time for editing--for re-writing--but in my house, where even my husband operates by the public school calender (though  as an elementary principal his is extended several weeks longer at each end than the students and teachers) EVERYONE is home for a good chunk of the summer. I like having them home. I do. But . . . it's really hard for me to concentrate with so much activity (and let's face it, MESS) around.

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I wasn't going to post very much for a couple of weeks due to the hope of achieving some intense writing time. Well, it was a pretty intense couple of weeks. Unfortunately, most of the intensity came from interruptions rather than writing. Some were planned, fortuitous, and even enjoyable. Others were . . . not so much. But whichever category they fell into, they did manage to steal a lot of that hoped-for writing time. *sigh* Sadly, I didn't up my word count as much as I'd hoped.

Thinking back over these two weeks, however, looking at all I've done or been a part of doing, I guess I shouldn't be too upset with myself.

*The 30 year old wallpaper in my bathroom is now gone. I painted, sanded the walls (don't ask. DIY problems!) and painted some more. Now I'm only about $1000, a few trips to Lowe's, and a skilled carpenter away from bringing my bathroom into this century. (In other words, ten years from now, when I find that spare $grand and finally replace that blue-cloudy fake marble, shell-shaped double sink and whitewashed 1978 cabinetry, the now-fresh taupe-y grayish brown paint will need to be updated. But it'll do for now!)

*Albus got "fixed" -- and subsequently had complications involving his stitches and an incessant need to nip at them. I can now say that I answered a telephone call from a friend and responded to her question, "What are you up to?" with "Well, I just put a maxi pad on my male dog. What are you doing?" Also, I "slept" on the living room floor with my poor sweet pup while he got used to wearing "the cone of shame" for a couple of nights, resulting in a totally messed up body clock that has me relatively productive until 2 or 3 in the morning, but unable to really function until about 10:30 the next day.

*I got together with my "book 3" cover models and finalized the wardrobe selections for the photo shoot, which is now scheduled! Woot!

*School supply shopping, registration paperwork, and sports physicals are completed!

*One of the two color guard routines I'm responsible for choreographing for the high school marching band is almost perfected! Which means I've spent actual time *gasp!* outdoors!

*Several conversations with a few of my traditionally published friends have made me ever-so-grateful to be forging my own path through this changing industry. The more I hear about their struggles, deadlines, and lack of input into the final product, I realize that, at least at this moment in time and with this chaotic mind, I am doing the right thing for me by self-publishing. Yes, it's a LOT of responsibility and a lot of work, but honestly, I am way too *squirrel!* easily distracted, too often wracked with anxiety, and entirely too much of a control freak to go the traditional route. I am more thankful than ever to be a self-publishing author who sets my own deadlines and plays by my own rules while doing what I love. And yet... there are things about this journey that still have me occasionally digressing into panic mode.

*So, my old friend anxiety. We meet again. Yep. I've had a bit of that familiar nemesis stealing my sleep and adding to the chaos. But unlike my usual "Just lay there while my gut feels like its being compressed by a Ben-Gay-covered vice that is injecting caterpillers into my gut", I have used some of those sleepless hours productively, stepping out of E'veria and working on another project. In the last week I've completed about six chapters of rewriting on a contemporary YA romance that I hope to release within the next year, all within the wee hours.

*Although I did not accomplish as much as I'd hoped toward finishing Eyes of E'veria Book Three, I did manage to write about 10,000 new words--and cut about 1000 "old" ones. Only 15,000 to go before I dig in to the initial revisions! PROGRESS! I'll take it!

*I've also attended to my sweet gig at HEA, having submitted 6 book reviews for July releases and having completed reading 2 August releases and started a third.

So, yeah. I've been fairly intensely busy, though not blogging. Now and then the chaos-that-is-my-life has been tempered by mixing a few solid writing days into the madness, but considering I'm readying this blog post at 2:21 am on a Sunday morning (that still feels like Saturday night!), there is clearly plenty of madness to spare in my world!

What's going on in your world? Has your summer been chaotic -- or sublime?

Rare Share: Baking Success

I used to love to cook and I was, at one point, halfway good at it. Not so much, anymore. I did, however, have a moderate success in my kitchen today, so I thought I'd share this little number I whipped up for my daughter who was tired of "the same things we eat all the time."

EASY Salted Caramel Cupcakes w/ Salted Caramel Frosting 
(Yummers! Just made these by playing around and they turned out GREAT!)





SALTED CARAMEL CUPCAKES
Mix together:
1 yellow cake mix, 
1-1/3 cups water, 
1 T vanilla, 
1/4-1/2 t. fine sea salt to taste (I used coarse: 5 cranks of the grinder), 
1/3 C. caramel ice cream topping (heated in microwave 45 sec, pourable consistency), 
1 T canola oil. 
3 eggs, added one at a time, mixing well between additions
Mix on low until blended, medium speed for 2 min. Bake 20-25 minutes in preheated 350 oven. 

SALTED CARAMEL FROSTING: 
mix together on medium-high to high speed: 
4 oz (half a block) neufchatel (1/3 less fat) cream cheese & 1 stick REAL butter (both softened to room temp), 
2 T caramel ice cream topping (heated in microwave to pourable consistency), 
2-3 half cranks of sea salt grinder (approx 1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt, to taste)
1 C sifted confectioner's (powdered)sugar
*raw sugar to sprinkle on top for decoration (optional)

(I simply piped the frosting on to the cooled cupcakes through a ziplock bag with the corner cut out) DELISH!

YOU'RE WELCOME!

Just a little somethin'

To concentrate on writing my next book, I'm going to be staying away from the internet as much as possible over the next couple of weeks.  While I'm away, enjoy this random dragon fly that crossed my path today when I happened to have a camera in hand:

See you soon!